Me Vs. Myself

Every second that passes by causes irresistible pressure and on several occasions I thought that I’d quit. I was never the giving up kind but when all the energies and wills have emptied, there’s nothing left to support my continuation. Each and every step brings me some kind of barriers but no dead end and which is why I’m compelled to crawl forward. My goal is blurred and I’m confused if I’m on the right path. No one is to be blamed though, in my pursuit and opting for this particular path. The path seems to be leading to all four sides and this is me in the middle wondering which way to go.

I call myself an organized person but such organizations have crumpled into a heap of roubles. There had always been options and backups in my plans but the one which did not have any alternatives of whatsoever is in jeopardy. If that aftermath is to take place that would possibly be the dead end and no more endeavours needed to propel my life forward. That would be the last day and no more failures would occur anymore in my life.

I’m a human and have several weaknesses. I’ve made terrible blunders but I’ve always tried to minimize them to the best of my ability. Then again mistakes happen and have regularly happened. I play with my mind, I try to rationalize all my feelings and take part in some intense debates against myself and within myself. I’m not that of an optimistic man and pessimism always reigns in me most of the times. I have a lot to do in life but lacks motivation.

I’m helpless, fighting a battle with myself and crawling forward to a destination that I had never planned.